The Complete and Unbiased Global Kentucky Fried Chicken rating

Updated 10/12/06

Please note, this is a continual work in progress, and will be updated as more stores are visited.

I have recently become aware that there is no decent comparison available to compare various KFC restaurants throughout the world. I aim to rectify this. Oh, and help get Colonel Sanders on a postage stamp (in the US). So, without further undue delay, I present the first, original KFC ranking system (okay maybe a bit biased toward New Zealand KFC's, but only because I have been to more of them).

1. Alexandra, NZ - Small town KFC always seems to be good quality. Perhaps it is because there isn't so much cooked at once, and they take care of it better. Great food, no queues. And Alex likes the name of the town.
2. Timaru, NZ (SH1) - Has saved me more than once when making the Chch/Dunedin Journey whilst hungover (or on the way to one on the undie). Always seems to have great chips
3. Christchurch, NZ (Riccarton Mall) - Always had friendly staff (especially Rick's KFC chick), and never really had much grease on the chicken. Perhaps a result of the high turnover of bird.
4. Queenstown, NZ - Good old tourist town. The first time I went there I was broke, and had to resort to eating the marrow from Vinny's chicken bones. Future visits were somewhat more successful, such as the time we traveled from Wanaka just for some bird, and they gave me free chips. Sweet. I also conned the managment into paying a parking fine for me when I was too hung to find a park and just pulled up on the footpath outside the main door. Good people.
5. Clapham Junction, UK - Visited whilst slightly intoxicated, after a night at the common watching fireworks. I couldn't understand a word the Indian fulla behind the counter said, but managed to point at what I wanted. The burger was great, and the salt made the chips the perfect topping to the beer and vodka pie that was cooking in my stomach.
6. Surfers Paradise, Australia - My first taste of non-NZ bird. I had a good laugh at some of the names they have for things, but all in all it was a good feed at a reasonable price (after figuring out the exchange rate).
7. Christchurch, NZ (CBD) - The usual stop after a big night out before getting in a taxi. Staff were always very understanding to my slightly inebriated self, and the chicken was generally pretty good too.
8. Wandsworth Town, UK - Just down the road from my temporary job at Wandsworth Borough Council, I find myself going here about once a week now (Dec 06). The food is good, but the menus are crap - its hard to find what you want and the variety is limited. There is one indian fulla that always seems to be behind the counter, regardless of day or time. I think he lives there.
9. Lynn, MA, USA - My first, and so far only American KFC. Home of the best Potato n' Gravy, but also not particularly good value for money. Also the advertised price doesn't include tax, which pissed me off
10. Christchurch, NZ (Colombo St) - Just plain good all round. Not spectacular, but not bad in any way either.
11. Ashburton, NZ - another, less popular stop on the Chch/Dunedin run, the Ashburton store still serves an okay feed. something about the crispy chicken strips here makes them want to be... extruded... only 23 minutes after eating them. Which is difficult in a car.
12. Dubai, UAE - Hot. So hot. They had aircon though, so I stood in the door for half an hour. I think the food was good, all I remember was Sporty Cow.
13. Earls Court, UK - Hard to judge really, as I only got some chips on the way home from the dentist. But they were good chips, and there was a hot chick there, so thats got to count for something
14. Christchurch, NZ (Hornby) - Often the stopping point for a lunch break at work, the chips here are usually pretty good. The access through Hornby mall carpark is often difficult though.
15. Dunedin, NZ (Gt King St) - Often was in competition with the amazing BP hotdog, this store often lost. Can't remember much else, except I was there in a cow suit.
16. Christchurch, NZ (Shirley) - My local outlet for my final years in Chch, the food here rates about average. Bad points are the queues through the carpark at dinner time, and the scoria out the front that plays havoc on your nice socks when you are too lazy to put shoes on. ** Consumer update - check out the comments **
17. London, UK (Paddington) - My first UK KFC experience. Good, hot chicken, but the chips were very bland, and you had only salt to season them with - which you have to do yourself.
18. Taupo, NZ - Just about missed my flight back to Chch because the service here was so slow (and because Ali's car broke down). Good food.
19. Christchurch, NZ (Papanui) - Let down by its small carpark and difficulty to get to off Papanui Road, this store provided some tasty feeds. The lack of space is also a contributer to the queues that often develop because there aren't enought spaces to serve customers.
20. Reigate, Surrey, UK - A little bit out of the way for me, but the closest to where I was working at the time. This experience was... well... weird. "What sides do you have?" "You can choose from beans, fries, gravy, corn or peas)" WTF?!? Peas with KFC?! And there ain't any potato with that gravy, just pure, coagulating, gimme-a-heart-attack gravy. And the beans thing is just madness in the UK, they have it with everything, so it wasn't too surprising.
21. Blenheim, NZ - Only had a twister combo, but the chicken was cold, and the chips were old and unseasoned.
22. Christchurch, NZ (Riccarton Road) - Via route 701, this store has probably hosted me the most out of any stores, but that doesn't make it good. The patented 'Chicken Positioning System' was developed here due to the necessity of removing as much of the grease as possible. Chicken should't squirt when you bite into it.
23. New Plymouth, NZ - My first ever meal of KFC was had here, and this is where the fascination began. I have such fond memories during my childhood. Recently however, the place has gone to the dogs. Terrible chicken, unseasoned chips, poor customer service, there is nothing that is good about the place anymore.